Ninja Burger Wiki

 

The Shinku-san Corporation

Page history last edited by GreyKnight 2 yrs ago

The Shinku-san Corporation

 

 

The largest, multi-national, megalomaniacal, corporation in the known world.

 

Employees

 

Management

Shinku-san - CEO

El Bandito - Vice-CEO

 

Middle Management

Ninja Gamer - Head of Security

Kitten Champion - Head of Advertising

Dreamweaver - Head of Finance

Grey Knight - Head of Technology

Sutenki - Manager of Wildly Popular Coffee

Aeon - Manager of Ninja Burger

 

Personal Assistants

Chocolate Ninja - Assistant to Shinku-san

panheadgirl - Assistant to El Bandito

Twelfth - Assistant to Kitten Champion

Nikkoru - Assistant to Grey Knight

 

Grade 2 Employees

Biji-san

Momo

furryjonny

The Dack

wado

Ignus

Seppuku Master

drgnslv

Gajin Midget

 

Test Subjects Entry level employees

PoNdEsHoNdA

Barcode

M-Cheezy

izeyoi

 

Products

The Corporation has been prolific with ideas over the years. See Shinku-san Corporation product line-up for a full list.

 

Installations

 

History

 

Created by the forum user Shinku-san as a joke during his earlier days on the forum, the Shinku-san Corporation quickly developed into a long-running personal gimmick and then a forum-wide fad. Originally mentioned in reference to its infamous and numerous line of lethal products as an aide to the odd post, eventually spawned into users being assigned "jobs", conversations about products and the corporation itself and even users creating games, comics, images and fan-fiction about the corporation.

 

The original logo of the Shinku-san Corporation

 

Below is what is largely considered (And by that, it means Shinku-san couldn't be bothered to argue otherwise and decided it so) canon version of the Shinku-san Corporations history written by Kitten Champion

 

"The Shinku-San Corporation was founded in 1869, by Shinku's great grandfather, Lord Honourable Torsten Luftbagel van der Shinku. He came to England from his native land of Noreg during the Industrial Revolution, and was stunned when he learned many organizations were uniting to end child labor. Torsten saw that England would soon collapse without the small fleshy arms and fingers to grease the wheels of progress and with only a pocket full of used condoms and a signed photograph of Sidney Sheldon, started up his very own company.

 

Originally, Shinku-San Corp. was a company devoted to injecting hormones and stimulants into child workers to increase productivity, and sending a stern message to the politicians who for baffling reasons, did not want children to put in 14-hour days running presses, cam shafts, and steam-powered looms. Despite several attempts to crack down on Torsten, he and his fledging company persevered by staying true to their principles and brutally murdering the familes of anyone who stood against them.

 

Eventually, Torsten married one of the little girls who was being innoculated with sheep urine and heroin at his company, and she bore him two daughters, Penny Lou and Thunderjustice Shinku, before dying at the tender age of 19 for speculative reasons. Her death certificate bears only a note from the coroner where it says 'Cause of death' stating, "Somebody talked".

 

The death of Pia Mia Maru Shinku was a terrible blow to Torsten for six whole minutes, thenafter he married again, and would continue to do so several times. Unfortunately, as the years went on, the twin heirs to Shinku-San Corp were often undecided as to how they would run their father's company when it was their time. Thunderjustice wanted to make puppies at the factory, and Penny Lou wanted to make baby ducks with clever little outfits. Torsten, eager to make certain his children were capable of running his company, decided to indulge his tradition in one of the most long-standing, and time-tested way of settling arguments in families: The Deathmatch.

 

Handing each young woman an array of weapons, Torsten rented out the Roman Coliseum for a day, and sold tickets to the event, promoting it was the greatest battle between two small girls history would ever see. Thousands flocked to the event, and during the course of the battle, Penny Lou managed to defeat and kill her sister, securing her place and vision in the annals of Shinku-San.

 

However, Penny Lou was either still consumed with bloodlust, or simply wanted her position in the company early, for as her father ran down onto the field of honor to congratulate her, she killed him repeatedly. Inadvertantly or not, Shinku's grandmother started her own tradition in Shinku-San Corp: Murdering your parents.

 

Penny Lou herself was generally viewed as inferior compared to her father's policy. Being only six years old, she knew little of how businesses were run, and a large portion of time otherwise devoted to making assasination plots and developing new chemicals were wasted as Penny Lou was still learning how to read and write. This near thirty-year slump of Shinku-San legacy was temporary thankfully, and eventually Penny Lou figured out exactly what it is her father's company did. This revelation came all too late though. Her teenage son Hottentot shot her repeatedly, and assumed the mantle of Shinku-San Corp.

 

Hottentot Shinku remains one of the more successful owners of Shinku-San Corp. He first pioneered the use of clones to take over his business (All of which Shinku-san was forced to face in issue # 223 "The Crime of Unwashed Brassieres -ed.), and brought Shinku-San Corp. into the twentieth century. It was Hottentot who realized that rather than simply drug and physiologically alter workers, these drugs could be packaged and actually SOLD to people, who would ingest them willingly under the assumption that potato chips, hot dogs, and pudding were all tasty things to eat! To this day, Shinku-San Corp markets literally hundreds of potentially dangerous and fatal products to consumers all over the world, with branches in all the major nations thanks to Hottentot's business trips across, threatening world leaders and killing people worlwide to market his industry.

 

And over a hundred years after Torsten first laid eyes upon the wistful shores of England, Shinku-san himself become the president and sole owner of Shinku-San Corp, after his parents (or clones thereof) both fell from the top of the Corporations own HQ...onto some bullets. He remains, depsite only a four-year tenture, the best leader of the Shinku-San Corporation to have ever been. He says so himself."

Comments (3)

PoN said

at 10:23 pm on Mar 7, 2006

When did I get a job here?

El Bandito said

at 12:32 am on Mar 8, 2006

Everyone works at SsC, they just don't know it yet.

Nikkoru said

at 1:10 am on Mar 8, 2006

Unwilling test subject is the perfect position for you anyways.

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