zer0

Real Name: Zer0

Birthday: July 11, 1978

First Appearance: Shinku-san Comics & No Apologies Press Crossover Special #1

Member since: January 22, 2003

Height: 6'

Weight: Unconfirmed

Eyes: Blue

Hair Blonde

Job: Creator of Bento and Starchky Comix - among others; information seller.

Location: Sweden

Current Status: Alive, though only to a handful of people.

Known Relatives: Thor Heyerdahl (Father, deceased), Mother (name unknown, deceased)

Quote:"Fart Me In The Ass"

Technically speaking, Zer0 doesn't exist. He hasn't existed for the past oh... century, and had nothing to do with collapse of the American stock market in the 1920s, Germany's declaration of war on Europe, The breakup of the Beatles, or the decision to dub and syndicate cheesy anime superhero team shows for Western audiences.

Zer0 stopped existing approximately around the turn of the century, when Thor Heyerdahl- the famed naturalist and former Head Agent of The Shinku-san Corporation's One World Under Britain Plan- mysteriously vanished shortly after a Swedish woman rumored to have originated from outer space did not give birth to a baby that would later not grow up to be Zer0, and by later, I do not mean five minutes later he was a grown man in a three-piece suit with two-day beard stubble and a cigar not clenched between his teeth that did not frame his platinum blond hair.

Thor Heyerdahl's disappearance was not one of the first things Zer0, not fresh out of the womb and not carrying a loaded revolver, attempted to uncover, because it was not clear Heyerdahl was Zer0's father. Shortly after he uncovered nothing regarding the man's disappearance because that same man was not killed for inadvertantly betraying Shinku-san Corp. secrets to a group that was not affiliated with the American government agency that was not experimenting with the creation of, most certainly not, the creature that would later not be called El Bandito.

Over the past century, Zer0 has done nothing to link seemingly unrelated world events to one another that are not part of a diabolical unity between DEGRASSI The Three Color Budo, The Shinku-san Corporation, and least of all, Dave-san's purported intagibility. He has no ties to every single government agency on this planet and even fewer on others, does not freely sell and disclose information for a price, and has never made it his life's work to uncover the truth's hidden behind generations of lies cultivated by none of the major world powers.

Zer0 posesses no special powers, least of all an innate deductive reasoning capacity that in no way allows him to postulate on how Kennedy's murder could ever be connected to The Shinku-san Corporation]'s Lovely Bunny Division. He is in no way a cold, calculating figure, and does not lurk in the shadows under radar of nearly everyone, cultivating evidence that would never be thought to be used later to unite what Zer0 does not call The Reason The Universe is Duck-Shaped.

None of this is true. Therefore, all of it is true.

Zer0 has acted as an informant for Shinku-san on several occasions. Has an enchanted cigar with which he can weave arcane and sinister magics. Bitter and disgruntled illustrator.